“At first everything was chaos. My wife and I were each acting on her side. We both lied to each other financially speaking – me more than her, but when we managed to be transparent we even managed to finance our apartment, which is where we are living,” said one of the family members who we will identify as Vidal.
According to their experiences, there were uncomfortable moments at home because they never agreed on expenses, they did not set common goals, each one saved on their own, they did not talk about money, they went to the supermarket and bought what what they understood, not what they needed.
“She earned well, I also had a good salary, I think that’s why everyone understood that they didn’t need to talk about money with the other, much less give explanations, but we hit rock bottom when income dropped and I lost my job,” he explains.
It also details that they were separated due to the economic situation. Although they had a good income, they felt that they were not advancing, that they were stuck and the arguments were more frequent.
“One day, under a strong argument, we decided to sit down and talk, we were going to break up (divorce), but we realized that we were both being selfish, that, although we lived together, we had separate lives when it came to money. We both had debts up to here (pointing to his forehead), we had exploited credit cards and had to pay them off. We gave ourselves a chance and we agreed, we kept only one vehicle, I sold mine and we began to pay the debts, ”she adds.
When talking to Diario Libre, the vidal family He also said that they decided to seek professional help in financial and family terms. On several occasions they even bought self-improvement books.
“When we went to where a financial expert told us – they started very well because they recognized that they have a problem. In a short time I got a job, not the one I wanted, but we started saving in an organized way. We put together the down payment to buy this apartment, our house as we call it, our first girl was born to us (they have three), in fact our lives changed when we managed to synchronize”, says the head of the family.
On this subject, Diario Libre spoke with two specialists, who agreed that the issue of money should always be discussed by couples to avoid conflicts in marriage.
“It is always good to discuss money and financial matters as a couple, to assume each other’s financial responsibilities. Moments of great tension will come between couples who are not transparent on the subject of money. When two people come together in a relationship, they regularly do not make things clear financially.”, expresses the consultant Federico Castillo.
It recommends that couples should talk, try to reach a point of understanding, establish the planning of the home and not commit the money that goes to the home to individual matters.
“The most important thing is to talk, make clear points, define financial tasks, support each other to avoid that the aspect of money, which is important in a relationship, in a couple or in the home, does not create division”, details the also CEO Executive Coffee and FCG Communication Consulting.
For Dileiny Concepción, an expert in personal financethe financial infidelity It has caused the breakdown of many marriages. In addition, he points out that financial fidelity is very important in relationships because when a person decides to share his life with another, he also shares his habits, be they good or bad.
“Financial habits, these end up in some way affecting the finances of the other. Namely, if the person with whom you are united has bad habits, these habits will end up dragging you”, he points.
He considers that it is worth nothing that a person has very good habits or handles himself very well when his partner wastes money.
“That extravagance ends up being a roadblock to the relationship and breaks up a lot of relationships. In fact, because that other person who has healthy habits financially speaking has to absorb, in certain ways, the responsibilities of the other person who does not have good habits and ends up in financial trouble, with debts and that brings a lot of instability to the relationship and many conflicts”, specifies Concepción.
He ensures that when a household is financially transparent, plans are made together, they can more easily achieve goals because they are aligned on the same page and are in the same direction.
It stands out that when a couple knows how much the other earns and what they spend their money on, it is much easier to talk and find possible leaks that the other may not realize.
“I don’t mean to say that for a person to be financially faithful they have to have joint finances. A couple can have separate finances and be financially faithful. In other words, one thing has nothing to do with the other. Financially faithful and finances together are not the same thing. Financially faithful means that I know how much you earn and what you spend your money on, and you know how much I earn and what I spend my money on. In this way, any common purpose is much easier, since one can accompany the other in their financial decisions”, says Dileiny Concepción.
Consequences of financial infidelity
Concepción points out that some consequences of the financial infidelity They are: breakup of the relationship, which is the most important; instability, discomfort, can create a tense environment and “talking about money is much more difficult than talking about any other topic in the relationship, including sex, anything is easier to talk about than money and when you have secrets it is even more hard”.
He also said that other consequences are the distrust of the couple who, once discovered, feel powerless in the face of the situation and can create many conflicts in the relationship, especially when there are children involved.
Who is more financially unfaithful?
The two experts consulted, point out, according to their experiences, that men tend to be more unfaithful in economic terms than women.
Response from Dileiny Concepción: “In my experience, women tend to be more transparent. Although it is very well known that women always tend to have savings, to save. From what I have seen, the man is much more reserved when it comes to letting the woman know how much she earns.”
Answer from Federico Castillo: “Regularly, whoever practices the so-called financial infidelity He is the man. (The man) in this society does not like to make his economic affairs very transparent, who he owes, how much he earns and what he does with the money because he feels that he loses control over his finances and when he loses control over his finances he receives questions from his partner , also, you may feel that you are losing a certain level of social preponderance”.
