She came back unannounced, when I least expected her. I was surprised because she didn’t understand why. I carefully observed her standing at the door and I perceived the right moment in which she wanted to settle in the furniture in my living room, in my space, in my house… but I did not allow it; I faced her and stopped right there, on that dividing line that marks the entrance carpet.
He looked at me and seemed slightly out of place. He didn’t expect my resistance, but he still smiled sideways, like someone with an ace up their sleeve. With the security that characterizes him, he began to speak and I felt myself falter for a moment.
It began by remembering my mistakes, those thousands that I have made in all aspects of my life; He continued with the tour of my defeats, including the disappearance of that three-fold cord.
He listed every back I’ve seen walk away, every word proliferated against me, every door my nose felt close.
At that moment I cried. I gasped for breath, but I looked into her eyes and with them fixed on her misshapen and intangible figure I reminded her that she had already traveled and overcome that path, that she had had to go through fire, fierce waves of the sea and a stony alley. ; but i made it and I was sure that I could continue.
She was silent for a while longer, impassive, like someone who is not in a hurry. Then, he seemed to remember something else, something deeper… and then yes, he mentioned the cold of my childhood loneliness, the longing to be protected… he reproduced on a projector that brought out (I don’t know where) the tears of the girl crouching in the corner asking for attention.
It made me feel the cold of someone who goes out at night in the middle of winter and naked. I saw myself small, 9… no, 7 years old, envying those who could run into their arms seeking comfort, and I almost, almost saw the darkness once again, but I forced myself to remember among my thousands of defeats that I have had hundreds of victories.
The comparison seemed funny to him, he laughed like someone who makes the best joke in the world and looking to give the last blow, he mentioned that inheritance left in my hands, and that according to his words, I have not known how to take care of.
Right at that moment, everything stopped, I didn’t hear her say more, the silence echoed in my head and I myself listed my faults like someone who takes a knife and slides it into her skin over and over again.
I vaguely heard her laugh again, she had done it! He was just about to enter my house and yes to settle in, until that giggle emerged, so different from the one I had been listening to for hours, this one was sweet, innocent…
The giggle began to get closer, while she seemed frozen from my door, desperately trying to raise her voice above that sweet melody, trying to keep me looking at her, but it was inevitable not to turn my head and fix my eyes on that little face.
He came closer, I clung to his full little hands and his unusual way of calling me; I clung so much that when I reacted, my door was already empty, the memories no longer hurt and there, in my living room, we settled down to play.
She will come back, I know, she will try harder and harder, but I have a melody that resonates above her annoying voice.
