speed report

The Ministry of the Interior and the Santa Cruz Departmental Prosecutor’s Office presented the report in conclusions on the death of Banco Fassil’s controller, Carlos Alberto Colodro López, three days after the incident.

Miechi! I don’t have ch’ulu, but I take it off, because that’s quite a record in Bolivia, a country where investigations are advancing at a snail’s pace, for reasons that I’ll explain next week.

The fact is that Carlos Eduardo appeared before the press for the umpteenth time to do what he does best: show. He spoke so sufficiently that he left the Santa Cruz prosecutor speechless.

If a button is enough to show, the bearded minister presented six, six technical-scientific explanations aimed at confirming, revealing and sacramenting what we had anticipated when the first of the two pages of Colodro’s supposed posthumous letter was published: the inspector He understood that the matter was so, so fucked up that, instead of resigning and leaving his name safe from any splash, he preferred to throw himself from the 15th floor of the Ambassador Hotel and splash the pavement with his blood.

What if he’s missing a ball from his head and a ball from his crotch? But of course! What happens is that, as he fell, at a speed of 122 kilometers per hour -Dixit minister-, he hit a balcony here and another one there. Surely in one they took out a little ball and in the other the other. That? They do not believe me? Didn’t they see The Simpsons or assess the technical-scientific nature of Homer’s falls from a cliff? How can you tell that they do not appreciate the educational nature of television series!

And, of course, there is the posthumous letter, irrefutable proof that this man decided to kill himself because he could not bear the pressure of having to reach the little money from the seized bank to pay the salaries owed and, later, with some luck, see if there is any left. something to pay back savers money.

And since the matter was very dose, first one page of the letter was published and then, the next day, the other. It is the typical practice of “first the tip”, so that the knife hurts less… atatau (here you have to put on a Droopy face).

What if the signature on the letter does not match the signature signed by the deceased? What is not your writing or your way of addressing others?… sssht! How do you think of doubting a report of six technical-scientific conclusions drawn up in record time? No, well… don’t be profane.

So, here a cup broke, so everyone goes home. That of the doubts leave it to the jealous couples.

The problem is, every time someone gets on camera to say things like that, I’m sorry my wife made me quit.