The one that works and the one that doesn’t
There is a silent crack in our homes. It is ying and yang, good and evil, sweet potato and quince. And no: it’s not politics. It’s the things that work well and the things that don’t.
It all starts in childhood: one ball stings well, another is more deformed than shared gum and stings so erratically that it’s not even good for playing rugby in the sand. But there they are, both of them. And one wonders: why do they keep both? Could it be that they love the little brother they give “the good one” more? Will it have touched Cain “the bad one”?
And one grows like this, colliding with what works and what doesn’t work. You want to write something, and always, first, grab the pen that writes badly. And don’t throw it away immediately. No. Change it to one that writes well, but save the “bad” one in case the “good” one stops working. Why do we keep both? Do we not realize that the “just in case” would not be working?
Same with markers and highlighters. You want to highlight something with yellow… and there is one that stands out but stains with black, because someone used it to highlight fresh ink, perhaps from the “good” ballpoint pen. And one wonders who was the one who did that? Y the answer is very difficult to find, especially when one lives alone.
Beware: there are more risky elements. The chairs. There is always one that nobody wants to use because something bad happens to it. The problem is that the chair that does not work is not recognizable with the naked eye: you have to sit down to experience the sense of danger. And pray that once you sit down, you can change places and leave the one that is on the brink of catastrophe for another member of the family. That if: Prepare the cell phone video camera to record the blooper and upload it to the Internet.
A problem that worsened with the pandemic: the mate. There is more than one bulb, and only one, ONLY ONE, is working. The remaining 16 do not. They get clogged, they’re broken, they burn you, they’re rusty, they were used to give vitamins to the cat… and you have to be able to find the one that works!
And that’s nothing: the Therm. At first glance they are all the same, but one works perfectly, it keeps the heat, the exact water jet comes out, and in the other the water cools faster than a romantic dinner in which you start talking about triglycerides and Viagra. One plug closes less than 24 hours and the other plug you can use to prevent water from leaving the Yaciretá dam. And one wonders: Why do no two thermoses ever work the same? Is it an industry move to make us permanently buy thermoses that only work well until we buy a new one?
And the watches? One delays more than the neoliberal that wants convertibility, the other advances more than the owner of a 4×4 that passes you by the shoulder on the road. No one knows how to set the time in the microwave; the remote for the air conditioning has no batteries, but there is one, a wristwatch, that you’re sure tells the exact time. The problem is that when you find it, it’s too late.
When bathing: a towel scrapes more than it falls on the cement with shorts and the other is fluffy, hairy, soft; so soft on the outside, that it could be said that it is all cotton, like Platero… The question is: Why is it always my turn to scrape?! (And not to mention when this happened to you if you live alone).
And when you get out of the shower, you have to choose your underwear. Let’s confess it: the panties or underpants that really fit us, the one we like to wear, It is the one whose elastic is more stretched than retirement salary on the 24th of the month, it’s stained, it has at least one hole, but it endeared itself. That is the danger of wanting what does not work. Because you don’t want to wear the “good” panties. You want the one that is comfortable for you. But you put it on, and it falls off. It doesn’t matter how much you pinch it, put a sisal thread on it… nothing. It falls, it goes under your lompa, under your skirt. It does not work! And you have to use “the good one”. As you can see, you cannot agree with the good and the bad at the same time…
Whyhen you need scissors, always grab the blunt one, “the bad”? If one bought a new one, betting on how it works… why do you end up with the one that doesn’t work in your hands?
And now many use cell phones, but the oldest of us have flashlights. And when the power goes out, we never find the one that works. We always find one whose light bulb burned out, or the one that has little power or the one that you have to keep holding the switch to keep it on. Where did the invisible hand of the market take the good flashlight, the one with new batteries, the one we buy on sale so we don’t have to use “the bad one” anymore?
Why are your sheets balling up and the rest of your family’s sheets made of silk? And the pillows: how is it that you always get the one with less filling than gas station pie on the road, while the others enjoy pillows so comfortable that even the geese applaud their quality?
Looking on the bright side it’s not bad to have something that doesn’t work, as long as you have an alternative that works. Because if, for example, you have to work on the computer that is malfunctioning, you can grab…
