The Professionals in Our Lives Series: The Dentist
The days of intense morphi are coming, and one has to prepare a fundamental part of his body: the teeth. Or go buying glue, fixer and putty.
Y to maintain our dental healthIn life we have to resort to dentists. Many people are afraid of the drill and anesthesia injections. I am not afraid of the lathe or anesthesia. I am much more afraid of the account.
Also, at this point I have so many bridges in my mouth that I could already put a Telepase to take a toll on food.
And the visit to the dentist has really uncomfortable and absurd moments.
In my case, who is over six feet tall, I never get into the chair. “Ha! I’m going to have to buy a longer one” is the universal response I get. But even though I have already paid my dentist the equivalent of the cost of a stadium in Qatar, He never changed the chair. And I’m sure that with what I paid him, he could change even the office!
In my years of experience, I have noticed that they are not teaching dentists the basics in dental school: the guy uses that pick type pliers, touches you and you scream in pain that makes the three patients in the room waiting room flee in terror. And he asks you: “Does it hurt there?” “Nope. If I’m practicing for the world of masochism “. It is the abc of medicine: if you touch and the patient howls in pain… it hurts! And it doesn’t just hurt: It’s there!
And how do they intend to enlarge their clientele if to give you anesthesia they use those metallic syringes with a more threatening tip than Hannibal Lecter’s hungry look? And why does the anesthesia that they give you with the cotton ball before giving you the injection never prevent it from hurting? Thousands of years of civilization and dentists continue to use the same tools as a locksmith: pliers, hooks, picks, files, saw… and you don’t see it normally, but I’m sure that in those drawers, there is a mallet and a hammer.
Not to mention when they do a root canal treatment and They come in to file your tooth from the inside. If it’s the upper jaw, you feel like they’re going to remove a piece of the cerebellum and if it’s the lower jaw, the file is going to leave a hole in your neck. And then, at one point during the treatment, they grab a lighter and burn something that you don’t know if it’s a healing agent, a sterilant, or a candle to San Expedito so you don’t bleed to death.
And how they like to use the lathe! They handle it with their foot. They must feel like Lewis Hamilton in a Formula One race, and then they talk with their colleagues. “You do not know. I put the turbo at 400 thousand revolutions. I filed the molar in 10 seconds three fifths”.
And when they use the lathe they tell you: “If it hurts, raise your hand”. And you already have your hand ready since you left your house. Not even at school did you raise your hand so many times! But you lift it carefully, because you know that if you move its head, it will mark the Z of Zorro on your palate with the lathe.
What always troubles me is what should I do while he puts his hand in my mouth: do I close my eyes or keep them open? If I close them, I don’t see what he attacks me with. If I open them, I try to see in the glasses or in the dentist’s own eyes a reflection that acts as a mirror for me to know what he is doing. Still, you can’t see a lot, because they have that interrogation lamp that left more than one patient without toothache, but blind for 3 days.
And if you ever had to make yourself a pin and crown, In addition to having mortgaged your house, the process includes “taking a sample”. They do this with a metal thing that they fill with a rubbery material that looks like a strawberry, but it is not. And they leave it on for a while and make you bite into the metal until it hardens. The dentist leaves. And he comes back after a while to pronounce the magic words “this should be ready” -which doesn’t sound very scientific-, and they proceed to pull the thing out. There one feels that they are going to pull out the other teeth and even the eyes in the pull.
What’s more: when they finally take it out, you you run your tongue over your mouth to see if everything is in place and you even touch your nose to see that the viscous matter hasn’t taken it away.
And finally they tell you to rinse. But your mouth is so anesthetized that you do not retain even half of the liquid and you leave the office drooling, hoping that it won’t hurt in the next 72 hours, hopefully you won’t have to use the painkiller he prescribed and that no one you know will come across and talk to you because they’re going to have the feeling that you’re having a acv and able to admit you to a neurological center.
Finally, I just hope my dentist never listens to this podcast. What’s more: just in case, I look for another one, right?
