Free, but bewildered and lost. This is how many of the 222 former Nicaraguan political prisoners who were expelled from their country by the regime of Daniel Ortega a month ago today and they are trying to heal their wounds and start a new life that they did not ask for.
“We have been here for a few weeks now, but it is still very difficult to get used to the idea that we must make a new life for ourselves,” Álex Hernández told the Efe agency in a video call interview. “It is the obligation of having to start from scratch”, he adds.
Whoever was one of the leaders of the Blue and White National Unity, a movement of organizations opposed to Ortega, is still trying to assimilate that just a month ago his life took another unexpected turn.
In the middle of the night they took him out of the El Chipote prisonwhere he spent close to a year and a half locked up (and another half a year in 2018), he was put on a plane with 221 other political prisoners, and sent into exile in a country where he never thought of living.
“Deep down I feel a bit guilty because I created my own future, although I assume my responsibility, because I knew that by getting involved (in politics) I was going to lose some things,” he confesses, listing what he has lost, which is all that I had
“We are free but not 100% because full freedom It would be to be able to take my things and go to Nicaragua”, points out the 32-year-old, whose nationality was taken from him by Ortega, like that of the 222 and many other opponents in exile.
What to do with their lives?
In the talk he is accompanied by two other express, Yader Parajón and Marcos Fletes. The three of them met in El Chipote and feel similar things after this month: the confusion of not knowing what to do with their lives and how to heal the strong psychological wounds that prison has left them. Things similar to what the majority of the 222 feel, they say.
“The most difficult thing is to know where to settle, where to locate myself”, says Marcos, from the house of a brother who has received him in California.
For Yader, the most complex thing has also been deciding where to stay, having a relaxed mind and being able to sleep, tells from the house of some friends who have welcomed him in Florida.
Álex is in Maryland with some compatriots who opened their doors to him without knowing him. Among the things that have surprised him the most this month is “the display of solidarity from all the people.”
“I live in the house of some people I didn’t know and, nevertheless, I already feel that they have known me for years and support me,” he explains. Thanks to them he is gradually recovering, and also to having recognized to himself that he needs help.
“I am taking therapy for anxiety. I have always been arrogant and I have thought that I have resilience, but this time I told myself no, that I need help to accept this new reality, ”she explains.
For the moment, like Yader, he has decided to step away from the fight “for emotional health” and not participate in the political action that They are trying to start other expresses from exile.
Work permits have not arrived yet
The three of them agree that starting a new life in the United States, the one that many dream of, is a process and that soon they will be fine. They dream of being able to work, study and, in the case of Marcos, live with their children.
They also agree that, despite the gratitude they feel for the United States, there have been many failures in the process, with a strong “information deficit” about the procedures and problems such as not having health coverage, despite their situation of vulnerability.
The humanitarian parole that the US granted them is not granted and, for the moment, they are also still waiting for the papers that allow them to work.
In another telephone interview, activist Suyen Barahona, while grateful, repeats the same complaints. “Most have many health needs, to have check-ups, and also to have a job,” she explains, since work permits, although they are speeding up, have not yet arrived.
Anguished by the families in Nicaragua
Barahona, one of the 33 women who traveled on the flight, also talks about other collective demands, which the group shares through virtual meetings, such as the reunion of families, since the regime is making it difficult to obtain passports.
Although some have their family here, the majority live “with the anguish” of having them in Nicaraguavulnerable to any retaliation.
This is how Lázaro Rivas tells it from his daughter’s house in Chicago, where he is spending these weeks. In Nicaragua he has two other children and his wife, who are now his main concern, he explains to Efe.
That and not knowing what to do locked up in the four walls that remain as small as a cell.
“I spend all day here locked up in this apartment, doing nothing and paying all the expenses,” he points out, overwhelmed by the situation, with a maximum urgency for the papers to arrive so that I can work and start, really, life in the north that many dream, but that it was imposed on them.
