in 2023
the 14th of February
cost triple the money
leave the pocket inside out.
To overcome so much stress
there are hidden dialogues
between wives and husbands:
“How about we go to bed?”
and we give ourselves away
fluid exchanges?
Is it Valentine’s Day yet? To hold.
What a transatlantic business.
For some, romantic day,
for others, stressful day.
Wife. The boyfriend. The lover.
The lover. The lover.
The Bachelor. The well married
The badly married The sim.
Everyone says: Give away?!
With these prices! Sin.
are the lovers
“by notebook”, to the good bidder,
those who think that love
“comes” as errands.
And there are the heartless
those of “I do not want to embark.”
—What do you say, fall in love?
Emotional dependence!?
Oh no, daddy, you’re wrong.
My Mipyme is self-loving.
There is the one who says: “By God,
I don’t want to be a sufferer;
Next time, Cupid,
shoot for both of us.”
And the one who never throws away rice.
And the one that his love does not take care of him.
and the lit girl
who answers her man:
“Look, I got your name tattooed on me!”
And he says: —What, did you forget?
And there is the pipiolo lover
what a figurine pose
and spend valentine
lonelier than the great Han Solo.
Yesterday I saw without protocol
(because we observe everything)
to a young woman with two branches,
a cold soul lycra
and a sweater that said:
“Sponsor me and we’ll talk.”
There is the one who writes it all down
and hear this expression every day
(from the brain to the heart):
“You make me look like an idiot.”
And lovers of broken laughter.
And skinny shadow lovers.
And lovers of “give and take”,
“take and put” or “win and lose”.
But those of “love is green”
and a cow ate it.”
The bachelor’s speech
This date, comrades,
It’s a pedestrian farce
an alien plot
to put an end to the singles.
It’s to get money from us.
It is pure corniness.
And the King of Singleness
says to his non-wife:
—I am glad I don’t have
to celebrate this day.
a very serious relationship
Pepe wanted to have
a relationship with anna
that was serious, very healthy.
Serious, love and pleasure.
Serious relationship, woman.
Not a complex relationship.
They lived without a complaint.
But Pepe was inspired
He made a joke to her, she laughed,
and the couple broke up.
defoliate the daisy
Today no one needs
—not even suggested—
he “loves me”, “he doesn’t love me”
breaking a daisy
That exquisite practice,
that beloved custom
of the broken flower
for cherubic feelings
Today it is done with pubic hair:
an advanced technique.
current weddings
Today the cucumbers
when they go to the altars
exchange cell phones
instead of rings.
Today the cures are simple:
the current “can kiss”
are this phrase: “Betrothal,
I just got married:
you can update now
their status on social networks.
Humor and love of intellectuals
Poor Florentino Ariza.
And poor Fermina Daza.
Love is the threat.
Phoenix bird without ash.
Love does not last forever.
There is no Don Juan. There is no doña Inés.
because love is no longer
Like in the days of cholera.
Cólera gives us the “anger”
beginning and end of the month.
love and orgasms
Dialogue between two Erasmuses:
“Love is something else.”
Today I found out that my wife
fake all the orgasms.
(Slumps. Dis-enthusiasms).
Erasmus 1: what courage.
Erasmus 2: your message
It’s not bad, it gives me illusions;
mine uses recordings
and is an expert in dubbing.
in the gift shop
“Good morning, seller.
before they enter continue,
do you have cards that say:
“To my true love”?
The man at the counter
with uniform and letterhead,
he looks at her and commits
to please your fortune.
“Yes, I have them, do you want one?”
“No, please give me seven.”
Love at first sight
A man, already a pensioner,
he says to his wife, calmly:
“Love, do you believe in the call
“love at first sight”?
And she answers, so ready:
—Of course, a rare commodity
of great love, a piece.
I believe in that more than in Christ,
because if I had seen you
more than once, I don’t get married!
The dream
“Baby, I had a dream.
wonderful with you
If you want I tell you.
He is so cute. So great.
Excited, the husband,
He said: “I want to listen to it.”
—I dreamed that with your money
you gave me, oh, lover,
a large diamond necklace
the 14th of February.
It was a different necklace
to the rest of the necklaces.
Pearls had thousands.
And enough diamond.
How brilliant. How splendid.
I think about it and I don’t forget it.
And I dressed in red
with designer shoes.
What does the dream mean?
What do you plan to do, my love?
The husband, with a swing
mysterious answers:
—My love, you will know the answer
when Valentine arrives.
The 14th finally arrived.
The man left early.
And at 12 meridian
—an hour when nothing happens—
he entered, stealthily, at home,
with a package in hand.
The woman was moved.
He took it off. what an outburst
He tore the paper. She thought for a while.
On the lips she kissed him.
He opened the box and found
a book! What irony.
On the cover it said
in small characters:
the interpretation of dreams,
by Sigmund Freud. “Good day!”.
The happy marriage
A married couple goes to bed
and she tells her husband
whispering in her ear:
“My love, how crazy is this,
what an annoying situation
but full of nuances.
Do you remember how happy
what were we three years ago?
He makes strange gestures
as if to say: what do you say?
she’s still excited
hugging her husband,
whispering in his ear
and caressing the pillow.
Three years ago! “It’s no big deal”.
Three years! Feedback. Return.
The husband kisses her
and he blurts out in his face:
“I didn’t know you, Sarah.
And she answers: – That’s why!
summary and ending
So I at least
on this valentine
I will give myself a feast
pampering and good times.
I gave opening verses.
I got halo kisses.
And since everything is bad
and little help the complaint
make your partner laugh
laughter is a good gift.
Love and laugh. She laughs and loves.
He thinks that “making humor”
it’s like making love
there is a bed or there is no bed.
Love and laugh. She knocks and calls.
sweat. Sings. It grows. Play.
Get in and get out. Take and deliver.
Let nothing suffer do you.
Is love paid with love?
Love with humor sticks!
