Sometimes my grandparents spoke of the war as a childhood memory, as a remote but indelible experience, both innocent and traumatic. The complexities of Europe’s geopolitical transformation during the 1930s were not in their memory. I never heard them say anything about technology or military strategy; on international law, diplomatic efforts or humanitarian aid.
When they talked about the war they talked about the endless ration lines; of the “pillería” and the “black market”; of anguished tours throughout the city to get milk, bread, matches or oil; in short, they spoke of the lack but also of the ingenuity with which they tried to deceive hunger.
In fact, my grandfather got into the habit of devouring food like a hospice: he always left the plate clean, as if his life depended on it, there was not a crumb of bread or a drop of sauce left. As a child he thought that his voracity was “bad education”, years later I realized that the war had “educated” him that way.
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“The fighting was fierce. I participated in hand-to-hand combat. It was horrible. Its inhuman. People beat each other up, stabbed each other with bayonets, strangled each other. Bones break. Howls, screams. Wailing. And that creak. That creak! He is not forgotten. The crunch of bones. You can hear how the skull cracks. How to part Even for war it is too much, there is nothing human in it. I will not believe anyone who says that he has not felt fear in war. […]
The body trembled. She felt chills. But only until you hear the first shot. Then everything was forgotten when I heard the voice of command, I got up and ran forward together with the others. Without thinking about fear. The next day I couldn’t sleep, I was drenched in fear. I remembered everything, every detail, I realized that they could have killed me and then yes, the fear was tremendous.
When the attack was over, it was better not to look at each other’s faces, the faces are different, they are not the ones people usually have. We couldn’t even look at each other. We couldn’t even look at the trees. I approached my companions and heard: Go away! I am not able to express it.
