“It hurts me to breathe”, a testimonial collection of poems by the Nicaraguan writer Carlos Aleman Rivas, Inspired by the popular revolt that broke out four years ago in Nicaragua against the government of Daniel Ortega, in his 52 poems he recounts “a poetry that hurts,” according to its author, and that will be marked by the memory of the hundreds of victims left by the crisis.
Alemán (Diriá, Granada, 1988) assured in an interview with Efe that he “never” wanted to write “this collection of poems, because it is poetry that hurts.” But that from his hypersensitivity and without being a political writer, he could not stay “with those words, he had to write them, because someone had to speak for those who no longer speak.”
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“It was written with great pain, in the midst of tears, because it was to remember the deaths, the crying mothers, the young people, the university students, the peasants being flogged, speaking in properly Christian terms,” explained the poet.
The antagonistic cry of Nicaragua
“It hurts me to breathe”, the title of the collection of poems —published for the first time in January 2020— was chosen as a tribute to the agonized cry of Álvaro Conrado Dávila, a 15-year-old teenager who was shot dead on April 20, 2018 while he ran carrying water to the students who occupied a barricade in the vicinity of the National University of Engineering (UNI), in Managua.
“I possibly took the last sentence or the last words of Alvarito Conrado who, in his moment of agony, reflected in his words what all of Nicaragua felt at that moment and continues to feel,” he compared.
The teenager, a high school student who had just turned 15, received a bullet from a sector where the National Police was and was assisted by members of the Red Cross and by protesters who were in place.
“It hurts to breathe,” he told them, according to the Interdisciplinary Group of Independent Experts (GIEI), which investigated the acts of violence that occurred in the period from April 18 to May 30, 2018, in Nicaragua.
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“At that moment, Álvaro Conrado was having a hard time breathing, because a bullet had pierced his throat. At this time, we Nicaraguans continue to be pierced by pain, by crying, by tears, by suffering. There are people who have not yet been able to heal that pain », he reflected.
«Álvaro Conrado shouted what Nicaragua is still shouting: it hurts us to breathe», explained Alemán.
In Nicaragua “we live under fear”
Asked if he has received threats as a result of the publication of his collection of poems, the writer stated that “every Nicaraguan who opposes this government has received threats in one way or another.”
«In a special way, the presentation of this book was surrounded by parapolice, riot police and State forces, and we always continue to live under fear and the fear that at any moment they can arrest you, bring you home. They still don’t circulate freely in Nicaragua », he pointed out.
In this sense, he commented on the recent arrest of at least three artists and musical producers, related to the alternative rock band Monroy & Surmenage, as well as personnel from the companies Saxo Producciones and La Anteala, which occurred in the context of the fourth anniversary of the popular revolt. against Ortega, who considered those demonstrations an attempted coup.
“The government is trying to silence critical voices. That is to say, you cannot speak absolutely anything through music, writing, less from a political position », he noted.
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“The last political prisoners are artists, (who) wrote songs inspired by what happened in April (2018) and that is what the Nicaraguan government does: try to silence all critical voices,” he added.
In his case, he said, people ask him why he hasn’t left Nicaragua after writing a testimonial collection of poems that includes in its 52 poems one entitled “Damn the dictator.”
«I neither leave nor shut up. I’ll stay here. I am Nicaraguan. I’m not leaving. I will not shut up. I believe that we Nicaraguans do not have to give up this fight, because I am sure that, although it is difficult, it has to change and here we are until the last consequences”, he maintained with aplomb.
He announced that he is writing a novel, “inspired by the massive exile that many Nicaraguans are experiencing” as a result of the April 2018 protests. thought, but by being imprisoned or by death”, for which he claims to be prepared.
