“Some advice: never get into that world. It costs too much to get out. It consumes your time, your health, your money, your life.”
HAVANA.- He has a face that appears happy but deep down his look is sad; the body as a canvas to express their experiences; a peculiar tattoo with the phrase: “There is no worse war than the fight against oneself.” The first thing you notice when you meet him is his tall stature and restless movements, especially in his hands. What is not seen is that Jorge is still attending consultations and fears another relapse.
It’s 365 days clean versus 5,475 consuming drugs. A year seems little for someone who has spent 15 years overcome by addictions, but for him every day counts in this battle he fights against himself and that has left him with personality disorders, psychological and medical damage.
Today, Jorge Calzada Ponce, or “el Yoyo,” as he is known, maintains the kindness that has characterized him even in his most complex moments “when he was another person under the influence.” At 35 years old, he pursues work and personal goals, together with his family and his greatest treasure: his two-year-old daughter Ashly.
The first bad decisions
From a very young age, born and raised in Alamar, Jorge describes himself as happy and witty, although also a little impulsive. In her environment things were not going well: a young mother, problems between her parents, poverty.
“I remember everything perfectly. Every day, during my childhood, the situation was difficult for my mother and me. I had to start working where I could: sometimes loading, other times on a farm or in business. At 13 or 14 years old I was already looking for money. I had the evil and, unfortunately, the freedom to do so due to my mother’s lack of attention and her constant outings. But bad company and bad vices also came: alcohol, cigarettes. I was always intelligent, especially in mathematics, “But it was necessary to do other things. I was rebellious and I left high school in 12th grade, secretly. It’s ironic: if I didn’t say it, my mother wouldn’t even notice.”
However, it was three months after turning 18 when Jorge’s life changed. It was three in the afternoon and, after leaving work, he went as always to visit his grandparents.
“I remember that my grandfather left the hook on and didn’t close the door. I entered and started to say hello, but I heard a crash. When I got to the room, it was my grandfather, lying with a rope around his neck. He was alive, I know it. I couldn’t save him. I didn’t have the strength. He died in my hands, there, in front of me, at 18 years old.”
After that Jorge became depressed and without the real support of his loved ones, except for an aunt, everything got worse. He started with parties and alcohol and ended up trying various types of drugs. “Once a year doesn’t hurt,” he thought.
The dark stage
After years of addiction, Jorge went through many substances and stages. He made decisions that cost him friendships, partners, jobs, his freedom at times and even his own health.
“Why talk. At first it was marijuana; I spent about four years consuming it. For me the least harmful. It was easy to get in the neighborhood or at parties; it cost 5 CUC or 10 for a larger quantity. Then I had another time with the song and the stone, similar to glass. For me the most dangerous. I saw people die from overdoses. They are not as easy to get and are more expensive.”
His last consumptions before detoxifying were the so-called “chemical“, at 500 pesos or less, and available in any park and at any time. “That’s a candle. It is not known what they put in it. It depends on where it comes from,” the young man answers when asked what the chemical contains.
The war against oneself
So many years of addiction deeply affected his life, with irreparable damage: expulsions from work, loss of relationships, street conflicts, debts, theft from his family, arrests, psychological disorders and even an attempt on his life. “I saw others die and I was about to die myself.”
“Some advice: never get into that world. It’s too hard to get out. It consumes your time, your health, your money, your life. I did so many things that today I try to make amends, thanks to my loved ones, who never abandoned me no matter how difficult it was. I have personality disorders that will live with me, liver problems, sleep problems, anxiety. I don’t know if these symptoms will disappear over time.”
Today, still in treatment, Jorge has been reborn as he calls it. He works, is healthy and focused on his daughter. He says that he found a way in religion and has held on to the faith.
