Full-time children, a latent concern in this new era

Although there is no ideal age for the emotional and economic emancipation of children, in many countries it is customary that, upon reaching the age of majority or after leaving the profession, they take this step towards family independence.

The emancipation of the child from the family nucleus is an important stage in a person’s life because, to the extent that he becomes independent, he begins to develop his own strategies to face life. However, currently, that process is being repeatedly interrupted, making them ‘full-time children’.

“It is a stage that all families should go through, but sometimes, since they do not feel strong enough to make decisions, they stagnate almost unconsciously and the children never leave, so the role of father does not end either,” says Liudmila Loayza, director of the Psychology program at the Franz Tamayo University, Unifranz.

This phenomenon is occurring dramatically in the Asian continent due to the lack of employment and labor exploitation, with days of more than 12 hours and six days a week, a pressure that is difficult to bear and which is leading young people to return to their homes in order to get some rest.

The Latin American context is different, because although there is unemployment, Latinos have a strong entrepreneurial capacity, so there would be no reason for their children to return to their parents’ home. However, the problem arises not so much because they come back but because they don’t leave, perhaps because of “the comfort of continuing to be a child and not assuming adult roles.”

Today, family dependency can extend for a long time. In many cases, tolerably; in others, beyond reason.

“We see this, for example, when children become emancipated when they have children, they consolidate a new family, but unable to assume an adult parental role, they return to the parents’ house and it is the grandparents who end up raising the grandchildren as if they were children and the children almost on a par with the parents as if they were siblings,” explains Loayza.

For the psychologist, professionals between the ages of 23 and 27 should already be able to support themselves, control their expenses, anticipate their expenses, save, provide themselves with food, rent or buy a house, and fulfill their personal or professional development aspirations.

“They have to leave their parents’ house because they are beginning to be adults. No matter how many years you are, if you continue to live in your parents’ house, even if you are 30 or 40 years old, you will continue to fulfill the role of son. Therefore, he is not going to assume an adult role. That is why it is important that they leave home to become adults”, says the psychologist.

On the other hand, the emancipation of their children is also important for parents because they have to move on to the next stage in the life cycle of the family, which is that of the empty nest, in which as parents they have fulfilled the mission of educating their children and preparing them for life.

This stage coincides with retirement from active life, that is, they stop working if they are salaried and retire and have more time to finish things pending, rest and resume the relationship or break it.

Children must be educated for their emancipation

Young people must be prepared with a view to their independence from the family nucleus. The academic ensures that parents should educate, motivate or teach their children for future emancipation and avoid overprotection.

Parents are called to protect their child in terms of guaranteeing food, education, clothing and good values, but what they cannot do is overprotect them, limiting them from when they are children to not solving their problems on their own.

“That is what will not allow the young person to become independent, because the latent message, the hidden message behind overprotection is that the world is very dangerous and if the father or the mother is close, the young person will not be able to develop,” adds Loayza.

When the children are overprotected by the parents, when they are adults they will not want to emancipate themselves, logically to continue in the custody of the parents having everything insured. In those cases, the ones who erred were the parents, who refused to prepare their children for life.

The role of parents, according to Loayza, is to give guidelines on how to solve problems and guide them, “but not to solve the problems of the children, because otherwise when are our children going to learn to fend for themselves”.