The start of a new year is usually accompanied by lists of goals and resolutions for the next period, but this movement needs to be a personal motivator and not a pressure for results and comparisons on social media. The assessment is from health and happiness at work specialist, Chrystina Barros, interviewed on National Youth programfrom the Rádio Nacional da Amazônia, a vehicle of the Brazilian Communication Company (EBC).
“We mainly look at social media and want to be like that photo, that launch, that person who got a million followers from one day to the next. But that’s often not true, we don’t know what was behind that story and we allow ourselves to be under this pressure”, he said.
“If we don’t revisit the past to learn, if we fall under pressure from others, we are almost more than halfway done before we become frustrated again and leave, again, for an unrealistic time. We have to live what we can achieve, if we plan and have the discipline to execute”, stated Chrystina.
According to her, it is necessary to evaluate the established goals to see if they were not exaggerated and if they fit into the real-life routine. “The main point is to think about realistic goals, about what I can do today”, he reinforced.
For the expert, resuming the habit of writing on paper can make it easier to achieve your goals..
“We need, especially in this very digital world, to have a paper, a notebook where every day we can write down something good that happened. And if we are starting the year with promises for ourselves, it is not for the world, that we write there”, he advised.
“Suddenly, once a month, we allow ourselves to look at it, see if I’ve taken any concrete step towards what I want. I think this helps us to always renew our energy. And I recommend that it be paper, because it forces us to think and put a discharge of neurons into the arm, the fingers, the hand. It’s also different from the cell phone where we just hold our thumb and look at a bright light”, he explained.
She believes that establishing resolutions is important, as this creates a movement for life. “What do I do until I reach the goal? Don’t you want to do it now? The obligation isn’t to the world, it’s to you, so don’t do it now. Take your time, but it’s important to have this framework of looking at what you’ve done, what you’re doing and imagining yourself how you want to be at the end of the year. When we plan, we’re able to live it all and motivate ourselves”, he explained.
Balance sheets
For Chrystina Barros, it is also necessary to take stock, recognizing the positive everyday moments experienced throughout the year. “Our brain is made so that we can defend ourselves, so that we don’t suffer. So, as I keep bad experiences in mind, I prepare myself to avoid them. However, in doing so, we lose the opportunity to recognize the amount of good things that happen to us on a daily basis, we mainly miss the moment to catch our breath”, he said.
“We need to explore the positive moments more, recognize them so that, when we go through something that is not so good, we can even get through it with learning, taking lessons from it and perhaps without affecting us so much. In the end, we are talking, mainly, about expectations and, in many cases, expectations from the world and from others, which we want to meet more than ourselves”, he explained.
The expert states that it is possible to allow yourself to become sad and frustrated, but that you need to have self-compassion. “You may be frustrated because you didn’t achieve, perhaps, that goal that you don’t even know why you set, that someone set for you, that you held yourself accountable to. So, allow yourself to be sad too”, he said.
“And from then on, we are in a position to think and think more realistically. Just because this year didn’t work out doesn’t mean that the next one has to do twice as much, you’ll be twice as frustrated. So, it’s about giving yourself permission and at the same time replanning”, he advised.
