The loneliness as a couple It is one of the most painful and least visible loneliness. December amplifies it, but it can also be a door to self-pity, self carehonesty and reconnection with you yourself, whether to rebuild the relationship or to rebuild yourself.
There is a type of loneliness how very few women they dare to name out loud: the loneliness that appears when you have a partner.
That silent lonelinessconfusing, which is not easily explained because from the outside it seems that “you have everything.” A person by your side, a formal relationshipplans, photos together, shared commitments. But inside, the story is another.
You feel far away. Disconnected. Not seen. Unaccompanied. And December, with its soft music, its warm lights and its unrealistic expectations, It makes that distance feel bigger than ever.
I believe that the Christmas It has the quality of bringing to the surface what we learn to hide throughout the year. It forces us to look at ourselves from a more intimate, more honest angle. The empty chairs weigh further. Superficial conversations hurt more.
The lack of connection It feels like a crack that keeps widening. And yet, we continue there, trying to make it work, repeating that “everything is fine”, adjusting to the perfect photo which does not always reflect the truth.
But be in a couple does not guarantee companionship. And being accompanied does not mean feeling supported. That is why this article is not to talk about endings or impulsive decisions. It’s to talk about you. Of your inner world. How to make space, calm and awareness in a month that awakens so many emotions found.
Tools that work
1. The first tool I want to offer you is the compassionate observation. Don’t judge yourself for feeling what you feel. Don’t compare yourself to what you “should feel.” The loneliness as a couple It is more common than you imagine, but few people dare to admit it for fear of appearing ungrateful or dramatic.
Breathe deep, look at you honestly and recognizing: “This is happening to me” is be brave. Take advantage of these days to learn Mindfulness. This tool is not about blanking your mind; It is looking at yourself without filters, without excuses and without punishments.
2. The second tool is the acceptancethat It doesn’t mean settling. Accepting is not giving up: it is stop fighting with reality in order to influence it more clearly. Sometimes we insist so much on the relationship looking like what we think it “should be” that we stop observing how it really is.
Accepting your experience allows you to take more conscious decisionsmeasure your limits and recognize your needs more honestly.
You agree that:
- You can feel alone even if you have someone by your side.
- It’s not your fault.
3. The third tool is the presence. December is full of noise: commitments, parties, messages, lists, purchases, agendas. And in the midst of all that movement, it’s very easy lose sight of youact on autopilot and respond to everyone’s expectations except yours.
But the presence It’s your way of pausing in the social whirlwind and asking yourself if you really want to be where you are, if you’re listening to yourself, if you’re taking care of yourself. sometimes you don’t need more attention from your partner, but more attention of you
you deserve a quiet corner where you can go on alonebut with you.
What can you do?
Ask yourself: What do I need today? What emotion am I avoiding? What part of me wants to be heard? Sometimes, the loneliness as a couple It is not a punishment, it is an invitation to cultivate a presence interior that does not depend on the availability of another.
The end of a year is the perfect time to practice self carealthough it may not seem like it. It is the time of give you spaces, set soft limitssaying “this is not good for me”, asking for company in a clearer way or creating meaningful experiences with you same.
The loneliness She is also a messenger. Sometimes it shows you where relationship needs attention. Sometimes it shows you where you need attention. Sometimes it reveals pending conversations, agreements that no longer work, individual dreams that need air, wounds that ask for care.
And something else: the Christmas does not define your relationship. December does not have the authority to decide for you. It’s a month, not a verdict. What you feel today may be a stage, an opportunity, an awakening or a sign that you need to look deeper at yourself.
Maybe the ask It’s not “how I survive this Christmas as a couple but alone?”, but:
- “How do I want accompany myself this December?”
The most important connection what you will always have is with you.
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Disconnected. Not seen. Unaccompanied. And December, with its soft music, warm lights, and unrealistic expectations, makes that distance feel greater than ever. I believe that Christmas has the quality of bringing to the surface what we learn to hide during the year. It forces us to look at ourselves from a more intimate, more honest angle. Empty chairs weigh more. Superficial conversations hurt more. The lack of connection feels like a crack that keeps widening. And yet, we continue there, trying to make it work, repeating that “everything is fine”, adjusting to the perfect photo that does not always reflect the truth. But being in a relationship does not guarantee company. And being accompanied does not mean feeling supported. That is why this article is not to talk about endings or impulsive decisions. It’s to talk about you. From your inner world. How to make space, calm and awareness in a month that awakens so many mixed emotions. Tools that work 1. The first tool I want to offer you is compassionate observation. Don’t judge yourself for feeling what you feel. Don’t compare yourself to what you “should feel.” Loneliness as a couple is more common than you imagine, but few people dare to admit it for fear of appearing ungrateful or dramatic. Taking a deep breath, looking at yourself honestly and recognizing, “This is happening to me” is being brave. Take advantage of these days to learn Mindfulness. This tool is not about blanking your mind; It is looking at yourself without filters, without excuses and without punishments. 2. The second tool is acceptance, which does not mean settling. Accepting is not giving up: it is stopping fighting with reality to be able to influence it more clearly. Sometimes we insist so much on the relationship looking like what we think it “should be” that we stop observing how it really is. Accepting your experience allows you to make more conscious decisions, measure your limits and recognize your needs more honestly. Accept that: You can feel alone even if you have someone by your side. It’s not your fault. 3. The third tool is presence. December is full of noise: commitments, parties, messages, lists, purchases, agendas. And in the midst of all that movement, it’s very easy to lose sight of yourself, act on autopilot, and respond to everyone’s expectations but your own. But presence is your way of pausing in the social whirlwind and asking yourself if you really want to be where you are, if you are listening to yourself, if you are taking care of yourself. Sometimes you don’t need more attention from your partner, but more attention from yourself. You deserve a quiet corner where you can continue alone, but with you. What can you do? Ask yourself: What do I need today? What emotion am I avoiding? What part of me wants to be heard? Sometimes, loneliness as a couple is not a punishment, it is an invitation to cultivate an inner presence that does not depend on the availability of another. The end of a year is the perfect time to practice self-care, even if it doesn’t seem like it. It is time to give yourself space, set soft limits, say “this is not good for me”, ask for company in a clearer way or create meaningful experiences with yourself. Loneliness is also a messenger. Sometimes it shows you where the relationship needs attention. Sometimes it shows you where you need attention. Sometimes it reveals pending conversations, agreements that no longer work, individual dreams that need air, wounds that ask for care. And something else: Christmas does not define your relationship. December does not have the authority to decide for you. It’s a month, not a verdict. What you feel today may be a stage, an opportunity, an awakening or a sign that you need to look deeper at yourself. Perhaps the question is not “how do I survive this Christmas as a couple but alone?”, but: “How do I want to accompany myself this December?” The most important connection you will always have is with you. Read more How to deal with Christmas stress? Discover how to manage your emotions at Christmas “/>
