Hearing is not the same as listening, while the first term refers to a physiological and automatic function, the second represents a mental and conscious process, which involves paying attention, being empathetic and showing interest in our interlocutor. Listening to understand, not just to respond, is active listening.
“Not knowing how to listen decreases trust and causes distortions in relationships, causing a lack of clarity in the transmission of ideas, feelings or intentions to the point of undermining the respect that people should establish at the time of interaction, which results in distancing.” explains Consuelo Medina, professor of the Psychology degree at the Franz Tamayo University, Unifranz.
In this situation, the psychologist indicates that it is important to cultivate active listening, a skill that can be acquired and developed with practice. However, he warns, it can be difficult to master, as you have to be patient and take time to develop it properly.
Active listening techniques have their origins in the work of the American psychologist Carl Rogers and his reformulation of the therapist’s relationship with the patient. Rogers believed that therapy was much more effective when the psychologist practiced empathic listening, was able to put himself in the patient’s shoes and focus on how he experienced that situation.
Active listening refers to paying full, conscious attention while listening. It’s not just about hearing the other person, but about showing that we are really attentive. It has an internal dimension, which involves focusing and understanding what we are told, and an external dimension, where our gestures and reactions reflect our attention. This way we make sure that the other person feels heard and valued.
“Although it may seem simple, active listening requires considerable effort from our cognitive and empathic abilities. Listening well is crucial in communication, and often, without realizing it, we spend more time thinking about what we are going to say instead of listening to the other person. True active listening allows us to connect and better understand those who speak to us,” adds the expert.
Active listening is not passive listening, but refers to the ability to listen not only to what the person is directly expressing, but also to the feelings, ideas or thoughts that underlie what they are trying to express.
In active listening, empathy is important to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, but also emotional validation, acceptance and feedback, since you must listen without judging and it is necessary to communicate to the other person that you have understood them. There are two elements that facilitate active listening:
Psychological disposition: Internal preparation is important, being in the present moment, paying constant attention and observing the other: identifying the content of what they say, the objectives and feelings.
Expression: reflect that you are listening to the other interlocutor, in what is known as the phatic function of verbal language (I see, umm, uh, etc.) and non-verbal language (eye contact, gestures, body tilt, etc.) .
“It is essential to recognize the importance of respect and empathy in communication. Communication, language and words have a considerable psychological impact on interpersonal relationships. Its use is important for maintaining healthy and constructive ties,” he adds.
Medina indicates that it is important to know and recognize the benefits that fluid communication and positive language bring.
“Among the benefits is being an assertive person who actively listens to ideas, feelings and needs, promoting better understanding between people. Words and their correct use influence people, they can raise spirits, strengthen self-esteem and generate feelings of emotional well-being, positive language can boost and validate thoughts and actions,” he points out.
Types of active listening
According to Rogers’ studies, there are at least four types of active listening:
- Empathetic listening: This type of listening focuses on deeply understanding the other person’s feelings and perspectives. It’s like when you pay attention to someone who shares a difficult personal story or a significant emotional experience. In empathic listening, you show genuine interest and empathy, putting your own judgments and experiences in the background. It is crucial in interpersonal relationships and can strengthen trust and emotional connection.
- Appreciative listening: This is listening done for pleasure and enjoyment. For example, when you listen to your favorite song, attend a concert, listen to an inspirational speaker, or participate in a religious ceremony. Appreciative listening not only enhances personal enjoyment, but can also elevate mood and provide a sense of well-being and satisfaction.
- Comprehensive listening: occurs when you listen to learn something new or to acquire information. For example, when listening to an educational podcast, the daily news, a conference, or a college class. This type of listening requires concentration and retention of information to apply what is learned later. It is essential in academic and professional contexts, where detailed and accurate understanding is essential.
-
Critical listening: This listening involves analyzing and evaluating information to form an opinion or make a decision. It occurs in situations such as a debate, a political discussion, or when listening to a sales presentation. In critical listening, the validity, logic and coherence of what is heard is questioned, and a distinction is made between strong and weak arguments. This type of listening is vital for making informed decisions and developing critical thinking skills.
